This is an apple.

They call it “Red Delicious” which, when you think about it, is a bit presumptuous. I mean, you’re really setting yourself up for failure when you make promises like that. Sure, the red part is easy. I don’t think many people will argue on whether something is or is not red. It’s the delicious part that’s a problem. Forget about the fact that the apple may turn out to be mushy or sour. It may not contain the adequate amounts of juice. It could have a worm in it - which, granted, may add flavor, but that’s for very specific people. The problem really lies with the simple fact that different people may find different things to fall under the category delicious. My uncle used to say he could not eat anything that was crunchy. He was disgusted with the fact that his food would crunch in his mouth. He did not want his food “offering resistance”, he would say. So how can they possibly guarantee the apple is delicious?

O.k., it is delicious. They got off lucky this time, but I still have a whole bag of ‘em, so they’re not completely off the hook just yet.

This is an apple core.

It reminds me of ancient Rome. The Romans would build pillars to support their buildings, and that’s what the core is like. It’s a pillar, here to support the apple. It’s the foundation of the apple, without it, it’s not really an apple, it’s more of an apple-flavored donut. When the apple is gone, just like the ancient Roman buildings, just the pillar is left, just the core. A reminder of the greatness there once was, a simple memory of former glory. The core has seeds, these seeds will grow to be apple trees. Apple trees are great. Not only do they supply a constant stream of apples, they have many added fringe benefits. There’s the shade, in which you can sit and think, like Newton. Newton sat and thought under an apple tree, when one (an apple, not a tree) fell on his head. Newton then came up with gravity. So, in a way, apple trees gave us gravity. I’ll take the seeds out, now all that’s left is the core.

This is garbage.